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October 29, 2010

I’m leaving New York Monday morning.  I’m flying to Texas to spend a few days with family, because I won’t be able to at Christmas.  Then I’m driving to Florida in the car my mother has graciously let me borrow.

Everyone keeps asking me if I’m excited, and I usually enthusiastically respond in the affirmative, but that’s not really true at this point.  There are a couple of problems.  One, we haven’t rented out the room yet.  Any New Yorkers need a great room?  It’s a lot of money, and it’s weighing pretty heavy on me right now.  Secondly, I’m leaving my husband.  I won’t see him for almost a month.  And just writing that has made me well up.  We are definitely in that newly married phase, and it is literally hurting me to think about separating from him for so long.  We’ve done it before, and we survived, and we will be able to see each other every month or even better… but… It’s just not the same.

And right now, I’m just sad about that.  And that’s OK.  I’m all packed, so I’ve just been thinking about this all day, and it’s my day to just wallow in it.  It’s my move and I’ll wallow if I want.

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